Have you ever looked at your career and thought, “I should be happier than this”?
I know that feeling because I lived it. For years. I tried different industries, different job titles, even different countries. Four to be exact: Germany, Ireland, Australia, Hawaii. And yet no matter where I landed, nothing felt like home.
Most days I felt lost, confused, and disconnected. Like everyone else had the map, and I was just wandering with no clue where to go next. Sometimes it was funny (like quitting on day two as a bartender). Sometimes it was heartbreaking (like building a “successful” career on paper that felt empty inside). Mostly, it was lonely.
And yet, those messy, uncertain chapters? They weren’t wasted. They were stepping stones. Each awkward detour, each “what am I doing with my life” spiral was actually teaching me, shaping me, and pushing me closer to clarity and to the work and life that finally feel like home.
This is the story of how I stumbled, laughed, cried, and eventually found belonging, geographically, professionally, and personally.
🎧 Prefer to listen? 4 Countries and Still Didn't Know What I Wanted
The First Spark of Belonging in Germany
I grew up in Germany, and if you ask me what shaped me most, it wasn’t school or career aspirations. It was a horse named Nelly.
From age 14, Nelly was my anchor. Owning and caring for her wasn’t glamorous. Every day I’d ride a bus for 40 minutes out to a small, no-frills stable where responsibility was… a lot and the work was gritty. We mucked stalls, fed animals, and cared for one another’s horses in a community rotation.
Rain or shine, snow or blistering heat, there were no excuses. You showed up.
That community gave me my first taste of true belonging. It wasn’t polished or privileged. It was about pulling your weight, showing up for others, and building bonds through shared responsibility.
While the stable gave me a sense of belonging, it didn’t give me direction.
Around that same age, I also got my first taste of creative work. My best friend’s husband worked with stucco. I loved seeing how something plain could be shaped into something beautiful. It sparked a thought: maybe I could do something creative with my life.
But almost as soon as that spark lit, self-doubt rushed in. You’re not good at art. You don’t have the skills. That belief followed me for years, quietly convincing me that the things I was most drawn to weren’t available to me.
Ireland: Faking It ’Til You Belong
At 21, I left Germany for a language school and internship program in Ireland. The plan was simple: learn English, pad my résumé, then return home.
What actually happened was one of the funniest and most baffling chapters of my life.
I landed an internship at a company called Media Satellite. Sounds impressive, right? To this day, I still have no clue what they actually did. My “job” was answering phones, except every call was a blur of thick Irish accents and technical jargon that made absolutely zero sense to me.
So I invented a survival strategy: forward every call to… someone. Anyone. Billing, sales, tech support, poor Dave from accounting. I figured eventually the call would land in the right place.
And here’s the wild part: it worked. People thought I was doing a great job. By the end of my internship, the company even offered me a paid role. Imagine that: getting promoted at a job where I didn’t understand a single word or even know what the company sold.
The lesson? You don’t need to have it all figured out. Sometimes just showing up, being adaptable, and refusing to give up is enough to open doors.
Australia: Adventures, Mistakes, and Loneliness
After Ireland, I followed a Czech roommate to Sydney on an exchange program. On the surface, it was the dream: big city life, philosophy lectures at the University of Sydney, weekends at Bondi Beach. For the first time, I felt like the world was wide open to me.
But with every adventure came a crash landing or two.
The $800 Mistake: I landed what felt like a glamorous gig bartending at a casino. Reality? Twenty minutes of training and suddenly I was in charge of handling gambling machine payouts. On my second day, I handed $800 to the wrong customer. The manager stormed in and told me I had to pay it back. Eight hundred dollars. At 22. As an international student. I thought my life was over. Thankfully, my coworkers (truly the heroes of this story) pulled me aside and said, “You are not paying that back. It’s illegal.” So I did the only thing I could do: I quit.
The Meat Pie Mix-Up: Determined to redeem myself, I picked up another bartending gig. One afternoon, a customer came to the counter and ordered food. What I heard was “wine.” So there I was, scanning bottles behind the bar for five increasingly awkward minutes… until she interrupted: “Um, I ordered a meat pie.” Cue my face turning crimson. The regulars thought it was comedy gold. I wanted to crawl under the bar. Funny in hindsight. Mortifying at the time.
But beneath the laughs was something harder to admit: I was lonely. I had people to go out with, people to party with, but no one I could truly lean on. Nights were loud and glittery, but mornings were quiet in a way that stung. And that’s when I learned a lesson that’s stayed with me: adventure doesn’t automatically equal belonging. You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.
Hawaii: Career Success on Paper, Emptiness Inside
My next chapter took me to Hawaii, where I earned a master’s degree in global leadership and sustainable development. I was convinced sustainability would be my calling. I pictured myself working on meaningful projects, saving the planet one initiative at a time. But after sending out hundreds of applications with no luck, reality hit hard.
Eventually, I took what I thought would be a temporary job with Enterprise Holdings. Temporary turned into eight years.
On paper, I was thriving: steady promotions, a solid salary, even a shiny company car. By every external measure, I had “made it.” People congratulated me, my résumé looked impressive, and I checked every box of conventional success.
But inside? I felt hollow. The work didn’t inspire me. The culture never fit me. Every promotion only deepened the emptiness.
The irony was painful: I lived in paradise. I was surrounded by the beauty of Hawaii, the ocean, the sunsets, the people I loved. Life outside work was vibrant. But career-wise? I was stuck.
And that’s when the burning question that had followed me for years finally became impossible to ignore: What am I meant to do?
The Search for Answers: Obsession and Discovery
I became obsessed with that question. I devoured everything I could get my hands on: books about purpose, fulfillment, psychology. I filled journals, underlined paragraphs, highlighted entire chapters like my life depended on it.
I signed up for every assessment under the sun: Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, career inventories. I even got certified in career development and coaching frameworks, desperate for the missing piece.
Each result gave me a clue, a piece of the puzzle, but never the whole picture.
Until one day, I took the Sparktype Assessment by Jonathan Fields. My result? The Scientist.
Reading the description, everything clicked. Scientists love chasing big questions and solving hard problems. Of course I had obsessed over “what am I meant to do?”
That obsession was part of my wiring. For the first time, my whole life made sense.
That clarity shifted everything. I realized my calling wasn’t in sustainability, or recruiting, or bartending. It was in helping others untangle their own big questions about careers and stepping into their full potential. My messy journey hadn’t been wasted, it had equipped me to coach others through theirs.
The 5 Career Lessons I’d Tell My Younger Self
Looking back, here’s what I know:
Career Lesson #1: You Don’t Need It All Figured Out to Move Forward
If I could survive Ireland forwarding random phone calls and still get promoted, so can you. Start where you are. Take the next step. The clarity often comes after the leap.
Career Lesson #2: Every Chapter Has Value, Even the Wrong Ones
My bartending blunders, my lonely year in Sydney, my eight years at Enterprise, they all taught me resilience, compassion, and perspective. Nothing was wasted.
Career Lesson #3: Belonging Has Many Layers
For me, it started with a horse community in Germany, expanded through friendships and places abroad, and eventually landed in my career. You can find belonging in where you live, who you’re with, and what you do. And when all three align, it’s a kind of magic.
Career Lesson #4: Clarity Comes From Curiosity
That restless “why” that used to drive me nuts? Turns out it was my gift all along. If you’re wired to question, don’t fight it. Lean in. Your curiosity may be pointing you toward your calling.
Career Lesson #5: Community Is Key
Belonging doesn’t happen in isolation. That’s why I created the Career Bloom community, because transformation thrives in spaces where women encourage, challenge, and support each other.
Where Are You Right Now in Your Career Story?
Maybe you’re in your “Media Satellite chapter”, feeling like a fraud and praying no one notices you don’t know what you’re doing.
Or maybe you’re in your “Australia season”, having fun on the surface but secretly feeling disconnected.
Or maybe you’re in your “Enterprise years”, checking all the boxes of success while feeling increasingly hollow inside.
Wherever you are, I promise this: it’s not the end of the story. Every single chapter, no matter how messy or confusing, is shaping you. It’s building toward your version of Hawaii: that place, literal or metaphorical, where you finally feel rooted, energized, aligned, and fully at home
About Career Coach
Theresa White, Career Clarity Expert, 5x Certified Career Coach, and the Founder of Career Bloom, is known for her expertise in guiding people to get unstuck and find the direction they need to move forward in their careers—fast. In a time when so many people are re-evaluating their work, Theresa offers actionable insights that empower clients to identify their true strengths and pursue work that genuinely aligns with their goals.
Theresa’s clients often call her sessions “epiphanies” and “transformational.” She brings immediate clarity to career goals, helping people unlock a deep understanding of what makes work fulfilling for them. Past participants consistently describe her approach as “spot on” and an “answer to questions they’d been asking for weeks.”
Theresa’s approach is empathetic yet practical, and she’s known for empowering clients with a clear direction in as little as 30 days, guaranteeing results.
Connect with Theresa on LinkedIn, listen to the Career Clarity Unlocked Podcast, or schedule your free 30-minute career clarity consultation.
FAQs: Career Lessons, Clarity, and Starting Over
What can I learn from a bad job experience?
More than you think. Bad jobs are like bad dates, awkward in the moment, but full of clues about what you don’t want (and sometimes, what you do). Every frustrating boss, boring task, or “what am I even doing here?” moment sharpens your understanding of what does matter to you. Nothing is wasted if you’re paying attention.
What are the most important career lessons to learn early?
That it doesn’t have to look perfect, and it won’t. Careers aren’t built in straight lines. Some of your biggest leaps forward will come from detours, experiments, and yes, even mistakes. The sooner you stop worrying about “the right path” and start noticing the lessons in your path, the easier it gets to trust the process.
How do I get clarity after a messy career path?
First, give yourself some credit: you already have more clarity than you think. Every job you’ve tried, every “nope, not this” moment, every chapter that felt like a dead end has been gathering data for you. The next step is zooming out, connecting the dots, and asking, “What patterns keep showing up?”
The Good News: Your Belonging Will Come
I know it because I lived it. I spent years lost, confused, and questioning everything. But eventually, I found my place: in Hawaii, in a career I love, and most importantly, within myself.
And here’s the truth: you will not be starting over. Every job, every mistake, every confusing chapter is part of your foundation. You’re not erasing your past; you’re building on it.
So if you’re stuck, please don’t settle. Don’t give up. Keep chasing what makes you come alive. Because your belonging, your version of “Hawaii,” is out there waiting for you.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s me. I’m lost. I need help putting the puzzle pieces together,” I’d love to hear your story. Book a free call with me. Let’s figure out exactly where you’re stuck, what you’re craving, and how to get you moving toward clarity and belonging.
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